Return-TEST TIME!

  It has been far too long since I have written, and there are so many stories I still would like to share. I returned home almost two weeks ago, but because I take the MCAT this Friday at 8 am I decided I would do my best to remain as disengaged from the re-entry process as I possibly could. I like to think that the re-entry 'box' I built in my heart has stayed firmly together, but this last weekend I felt some cracks beginning to form. I think it is in part stress over this test for med school and in part the overwhelming nature of returning. 

  In the last year the Lord has grown me in understanding what it means to look to him for strength, love and grace, but in the last month I have been trying to run alone. In part it feels like a failure; like all that growth was for naught; like I didn't actually grow in my relationship with the Father. 

  This morning I read from Psalm 40. 

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,

AND SET MY FEET UPON A ROCK, MAKING MY STEPS SECURE.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. 

Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust,

who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!

  

  The Lord is carrying me. He was with me before I lived in Kenya. He was with me while I lived in Kenya. He is with me again in the states. He is jealous for my heart, but patient and gracious. I praise him for the love and prayers of friends from all over the world. And I pray now for his calming presence that gives me hope and confidence to move one foot in front of the other.

I will post more stories from my time in Kenya over the next several weeks, and probably write some on my re-entry process. And maybe even some pictures:)