I arrived in Nairobi late Friday night and spent some time waiting in line for a visa. Although I had been most anxious about getting through customs, it was actually just a short walk until I met my friends.
Jet lag has been more difficult than I had imagined, but I have really done nothing but sleep and hang out at my boss's apartment. And I have had some amazing food already! This week will be slow as far as I know and then I will go to Kijabe for a few days to shadow a doctor there.
I have met some wonderful people, some sent through World Harvest (now re-branded as Serge- see video below) and others serving through organizations such as IJM.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Moments
There are moments in life that seem more monumental than others. As I re-pack for the umpteenth time, I think about what I have gotten myself into and all that has led up to this point in my life. A professor of mine once told my class that the best way he ever thought over his life was to think of it as revealing moments of God's faithfulness. I confess that thinking of life like that isn't something at which I excel.
As my family spent a lot of time together this past Easter weekend, I was convicted of God's faithfulness. He has provided for us food, health, peace and rest in the midst of great sorrow and conflict. I can't help but think of the hole made in my family's fabric due to the loss of my brother. The Father has grown us so that hole is not so large or painful. We have hope in the reality that a great reunion will occur one day and the joy of our salvation will be totally complete in the Son's return for His people.
Those are the moments I miss Clayborne most. As my siblings and I sat around the table one night this weekend, enjoying each other, I reveled in the beauty of our friendships and I grieved for the one missing.
I miss you Clayborne, and I am oh so grateful for you Franklin, Caroline, Matthew, Emily and Lu.
As my family spent a lot of time together this past Easter weekend, I was convicted of God's faithfulness. He has provided for us food, health, peace and rest in the midst of great sorrow and conflict. I can't help but think of the hole made in my family's fabric due to the loss of my brother. The Father has grown us so that hole is not so large or painful. We have hope in the reality that a great reunion will occur one day and the joy of our salvation will be totally complete in the Son's return for His people.
Those are the moments I miss Clayborne most. As my siblings and I sat around the table one night this weekend, enjoying each other, I reveled in the beauty of our friendships and I grieved for the one missing.
I miss you Clayborne, and I am oh so grateful for you Franklin, Caroline, Matthew, Emily and Lu.
Psalm 63
Is. 40:6-8
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
8 DaYs
My family and friends, and even acquaintances have shown me what the Lord's provision is. I have really been struggling with God's character (as I have written before). Is He really good? When is He going to give up on me, letting me become totally captive to my sin?
The truth is He is good. I asked Him to show me in small ways that I can actually grasp, like small bites from a large sandwich, who He is. I'm realizing that I partially am afraid to get to know Him because of how great the disparity is between His character and mine. The more I get to know Him the deeper I see my sin. I want to continue believing the lie that I am somewhat good, that I can handle this life, and that Jesus is not a necessity for me reaching perfection. The truth is that these are lies. I cannot fix the problem of sin in my life. I cannot redeem myself. I must repent and turn, in gratitude, to the Savior who gave me His cloak of righteousness. The One who died so that the Father could turn His face from His only Son, to look upon me with love.
I Am Redeemed
The truth is He is good. I asked Him to show me in small ways that I can actually grasp, like small bites from a large sandwich, who He is. I'm realizing that I partially am afraid to get to know Him because of how great the disparity is between His character and mine. The more I get to know Him the deeper I see my sin. I want to continue believing the lie that I am somewhat good, that I can handle this life, and that Jesus is not a necessity for me reaching perfection. The truth is that these are lies. I cannot fix the problem of sin in my life. I cannot redeem myself. I must repent and turn, in gratitude, to the Savior who gave me His cloak of righteousness. The One who died so that the Father could turn His face from His only Son, to look upon me with love.
I Am Redeemed
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
tWo Weeks
I am amazed at how God is providing for this trip. One of my prayer requests was to have all my support raised before April 23 and it looks like the Lord is making that happen. Although I haven't been anxious about raising my support, I am astounded at how my Father has been working. Last week I asked someone to pray that I would be reminded in small ways that I can trust my Heavenly Father because over the last year I have really struggled in that area. I know that even if He didn't provide all my support I can trust him, but what a sweet reminder that I am precious to him. He has given me a desire to serve and he has given me a way in which I can do just that.
I was officially rejected by a DO school yesterday. When I saw who the letter was from I got a little excited, but as I read the rejection notice my heart was at peace. Yes, it would have been lovely to be given the chance to at least interview with the school, but right now my heart is set on where I will be in two weeks.
I have started collecting things to begin the packing process. WHEW. This is the part that unsettles me most. I am so afraid I'll forget something. In fact I dreamt last night that I had forgotten everything and wasn't at all prepared for my trip.
If you have been on a trip like this I would love to hear of helpful hints!!!
I was officially rejected by a DO school yesterday. When I saw who the letter was from I got a little excited, but as I read the rejection notice my heart was at peace. Yes, it would have been lovely to be given the chance to at least interview with the school, but right now my heart is set on where I will be in two weeks.
I have started collecting things to begin the packing process. WHEW. This is the part that unsettles me most. I am so afraid I'll forget something. In fact I dreamt last night that I had forgotten everything and wasn't at all prepared for my trip.
If you have been on a trip like this I would love to hear of helpful hints!!!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
2+ Weeks
In 19 days I begin my physical journey to Nairobi, Kenya. Incredibly enough and because of the Lord's work, I have approximately 55% of my support money raised. I can't believe it, and yet the peace in my heart speaks to the work of the Spirit both in me and in those who are praying for me and supporting me monetarily.
I still need help though. And I am beginning to see more deeply why it is so hard for me to ask people to give their money to send me on this trip. Once again my struggle with trusting in the character of God comes to the forefront. I don't trust him with my heart. The deepest part of it. Asking people for help is not the problem, it's the part after I pose the question where there is a reply and I have to react or not react to the reply. What if someone says no, they can't help me? I don't want to heap guilt upon them. I don't want respond in a way that would disappoint God. I have to be perfect, and show my Father that I can handle any situation. I am strong and ready, and not easily moved. I hate showing my disappointment to the Lord. What if He decides I can't handle whatever it is? What if he decides He is tired of showing me grace?
I still need help though. And I am beginning to see more deeply why it is so hard for me to ask people to give their money to send me on this trip. Once again my struggle with trusting in the character of God comes to the forefront. I don't trust him with my heart. The deepest part of it. Asking people for help is not the problem, it's the part after I pose the question where there is a reply and I have to react or not react to the reply. What if someone says no, they can't help me? I don't want to heap guilt upon them. I don't want respond in a way that would disappoint God. I have to be perfect, and show my Father that I can handle any situation. I am strong and ready, and not easily moved. I hate showing my disappointment to the Lord. What if He decides I can't handle whatever it is? What if he decides He is tired of showing me grace?
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
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